Okay so I (21F) am feeling a lot of guilt. I just suggested that I cum first next time I see my boyfriend (24M). The last five times we've been together (he lives in a different state and lives 9 hours away), once we get to our hotel room, we makeout, fuck, and then shower and go to sleep. We also fuck throughout the time we're together; not the entire time, but it's just the first time we fuck at the beginning isn't our only time. Out of those times, I don't cum before or during (I have an issue with it), and I have only came once after, but it took a bit. Out of the times we've been together, I've only came with him a couple times, and those times were me masturbating and me sitting next to him while he kind of felt me up.

The reason why I suggested me cumming first is he has told me (and I believe it and understand) that once he cums, he's not as sexual. He acts like it as well, and we usually have a movie playing while we fuck so when I'm trying to get off, he's not paying attention really and it makes it worse because I feel like he doesn't really care even though he does, and it makes me feel bad. And it also teases him a lot and I can cum once and get it out of the way if I can't cum throughout our trip which is like two-three days (depending when I have to go home because I have stuff going on the day after). And it's not like he doesn't try to make me cum; I just have issues with it in general, and I just do it myself even if it takes a bit because it's easier. Is it rude that I suggested it?