So first things first, my wife loves being dominated in bed, and I love being dominant. We both like when I'm in complete control of what happens. That being said, I've always had trouble staying in character for an entire session.

Don't get me wrong, I have no problems throwing her around and whatnot. We're also both much more into giving than receiving, which I don't think is incompatible with what we're trying to achieve, although I know my partner would love if I were more selfish and just "took what I wanted". But inevitably we end laughing, joking around and losing focus. Which is absolutely fun in it's own right, and a testament to the great chemistry we've got going. That being said, the few times we managed to both stay focused were a completely different experience, and we're looking for ways to reproduce that reliably.

I think it's because it's so foreign to our real life personalities? I'm definitely not the type to boss people around, so it seems like we can't take each other and ourselves seriously, even though we'd like to!

Are there any couples around here that have completely different dynamics in and outside of sex? How do you reconcile the two?