Hi guys - for context we are mid/late twenties (24F, 27M) and we have been in a serious relationship for just about two years.

I had relationships before and didn’t enjoy them eating me out, so I had casually mentioned at the start of our relationship that I don’t care if he does it for me (since the feeling doesn’t really get me off and I’m shy about anyone staring down there). He was like “okay” and that was it.

Over the course of our two year relationship, I’ve kind of changed my mind and wanted him to try going down on me since I am comfortable with my body with him. Every time I’ve tried asking while we are about to have sex, he seems really reluctant and just moves on to sex.

On the other hand I’ve always liked being fingered. I didn’t want to admit this and he’s never asked anyway so I’ve never said. I’ve tried guiding his hands in, but he always moves away and he says “why do you need fingers when we can have actual sex”. But ladies don’t you think it feels different? I explained this to him and told him I enjoy it but he doesn’t give it to me.

Basically, there’s never any foreplay aside from making out and me giving him head. Because after that, my body already gets me wet (even though I’m not mentally there yet) and he will put it in. I mean, the sex is good but I still want to enjoy foreplay :(

Does anyone have tips on how to navigate the situation? I’m a bit shy in bed so I’d prefer ways of asking that aren’t super direct and makes me embarrassed.

Thanks so much :)

Edit: forgot to mention that I actually reach orgasm multiple times during sex with him, which is the reason why he says there’s no need for foreplay.