I’ve seen posts about regretting casual sex or regretting first-time sex, or even the post-nut clarity, but none of those really feel like they fit here.

A bit of context: I used to identify as asexual. 99.99% of the time I wasn’t interested in sex, and even was averse to it. My first sexual partner had sex with me without my permission, and after that I didn’t desire it.

Now in a loving and sexual relationship, I don’t identify as asexual anymore, but I’m something in between. My problem is that in between sex, especially when I’m alone, I still feel some of that aversion, frustration, and even regret towards sexual things. It’s not always, but it’s like if I’m not actively into it, it’s hard for me to imagine wanting it.

So my question for advice is: 1) if you have ever felt this way, how did you get over it and stop feeling regret/aversion? Just telling myself to stop feeling that way or giving logical reasons to not feel that way doesn’t work. 2) is there a word for this feeling? Sometimes I guess it is like post-nut clarity, but it lasts a lot longer than that and doesn’t always start right after sex.

Please note: I don’t feel this way with my current partner and if I did, nothing sexual would happen. It’s only in between when my brain gets annoyed and wishes I hadn’t/wouldn’t/won’t.