I never felt any sexual feelings towards men and started about 2 years ago when I began to become curious. Now I am 30F. The thought of a penis does not turn me off and I find it off putting. but I notice this guy's hands and he is into me. I like his body and face and lips. He is so fit and athletic. And I like his buzz cut. But he is also sweet and respectful which makes me want him more. He is in the army which is also so attractive to me.

I keep thinking his much larger hands on me must feel amazing. But he doesn't know I am a virgin and I don't want him to know. For all we know he probably thinks I have experience at my age.

I don't know how to go about this. I am even afraid of being alone with him. How do you know when to stop. I desire him. I was supposed to "wait for marriage." How do you do that when I want him so much. but I know if I'm intimate with him, I'll probably fall in love with him, to be honest.