Husband 43M struggling with wife 39F says orgasms have been far and few between..

Husband needs sexual relationship advice with wife who struggles to orgasm.

43M and 39F been married 18 years, we have fun in the bedroom or so I thought, wife is very shy about masturbation. Refuses to touch herself and rarely will use a toy. I bought her a vibrator at was a little bigger than I am and she will occasionally use it while I’m laying in bed with her, otherwise she has not sexual interest if she alone with herself. I purchased a sleeve and used it Friday morning, we used it again Saturday morning, and she came hard using it yesterday morning. We were discussing the sleeve as it makes my girth quite larger as in adds a 1” from 5.5” to 6.5” while she’s never complained and I do make her sore without it, I commented how I noticed it made her cum and she stated orgasm have been far and few between and to just let her enjoy it.

First off I don’t know where to start, she’s one that will not discuss sexual happiness or unhappiness, she will tell you what she enjoys only when asked, we do have healthy relationship but I don’t remember the last date night or couples trip, and she refuses to make time to go on one. We have two very different libidos. The only thing I changed yesterday was gave her a massage before sex as her job is very stressful. But I want to help improve her sexual experience also.. her bottling up kills me, maybe I’m overthinking but I feel if she would open up she would have a better experience.