I’ve [M20] have been with my girlfriend [F21] for more than 2 years now and we barely have sex anymore, or when we do it doesn’t last long due to the fact she tires out quickly (so neither of us get to finish). When we first started dating we seemed to be perfect for each other when it came to compatibility, but lately I’ve (if not both of us) are unsatisfied by our experiences. It first started when she was diagnosed with BPD and she wasn’t able to get in the mood due to her depression, which was completely understandable and I tried my best to support her through it.

After some trail and error she has thankfully found one that she is happy with, and the only thing now is that she has come out of it with a lower sex drive. No matter what I love her whether or not we have sex, but after several months of the hot and cold I just kind of feel empty. For example there are times when I get horny or something, but then feel a sudden bout of lethargy and don’t want to do anything to act upon that feeling.

I feel like an asshole for feeling like this, especially when I know there isn’t much either of us can do about the situation, it would feel like a stupid reason to leave someone that you work so well with just because they don’t want to have sex, but it’s something that has been effecting my mental health to the point where she and my friends asked if I’m ok more often. Which again makes me feel like a shit person to think I have it “bad” at all.

I guess tldr: I feel like a bad person because my gf doesn’t want to have sex as much as I do.