Throwaway account as have another active Reddit account...

So here's the background. I've been happily married for coming up seven years, my wife and I have been together for 12. I really couldn't be more content in my relationship. She is a beautiful, kind, loving woman, a fantastic mum to our son, a great friend and a fantastic lover... there's no way that this is about not getting what I need in the bedroom and my unconscious mind straying to better times past, I have a wonderful sex life with my wife.

But still... I keep having these erotic dreams about my ex, someone I separated from 14 years ago. They seem to be growing in frequency, to the point where I am finding them invasive to be honest. I don't want to be having intensely sexual dreams about this person.

For example, last night my wife and I had sex last thing before we fell asleep. As usual, it was passionate, fun, life affirming, the purest, best pleasure imaginable, something you just wish you could bottle and take a drop of every time you're feeling a bit meh about life. We both came, and fell asleep naked in each other's arms. Pure bliss.

At some point deep in the early hours, I started dreaming about my ex. In this dream, we were off some place together, maybe after a party or a gathering of some kind anyway, but alone. I was married, yet I still poured my heart out to this person, telling her how I'd always loved her and whatever. The sex was incredibly vivid, I could feel the sensation of touching her body, I could see every detail of her as if I'd gone back in time all those years. I woke up with a raging hard-on, next to my wife, and I just felt ashamed and a bit broken. Why is my brain doing this to me?

The relationship with this person didn't end well, it was messy, emotional and it took me a long time to get over her. But it's so far in the past, I just don't understand why these dreams are happening now, and why they are becoming more regular. Help?!

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