My wife and I have been having threesomes with other women for the last 7 years, we have really enjoyed all of our experiences and always practiced safe sex. We test regularly and have never had an sti.

I know hsv-1 is super common and it’s obviously a risk we take when having sex with strangers and we could have literally been exposed to hsv-1 all our lives even before we started sleeping with others (sharing drinks for example) but no one has ever told us they have it so this has me questioning if we should do it. I actually really respect the fact she told us. I really don’t want to make a big deal of it because I know that it isn’t and if she hadn’t of told us I’d be ears deep by now lol.

Questions:

1. Why don’t people inform others when they have oral hsv-1 but when it’s on their genitals they do?

2. Is genital hsv-1 more transmissible than oral herpes?

3. If i perform oral sex on her and then oral sex on my wife would that put my wife at risk?

4. How would we make this experience as enjoyable as possible while minimising the risk of contracting hsv-1?

5. If we were to test positive to hsv-1 would this make us less attractive to others in the future?