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I [F21] found out that my bestest male friends of 10 years, that I consider like my brothers, have sexual fantasies of me. I don't know how to feel about this.. I get mixed emotions of confusion, betrayal, weird, but also kind of aroused. Even the fact that I am aroused gets me thinking that I'm weird for kind of enjoying this?
Is it normal for male best friends to have sexual thoughts?
and is it normal for me to feel aroused by it?
Sorry, i'm not so experienced and I wanted some advice... thank you
EDIT:
Thank you for all the advice, comments, and concerns. I really appreciate it all. It helped me process my feelings more. What I took away was:
Most men do fantasize about their female friends, it is very normal.
Itās normal to feel aroused, being sexually wanted is a good thing.
Just because Iām aroused, doesnāt mean I find them attractive nor am I going to do anything with them. I DEFINITELY donāt want to do anything sexual with them, as I really value our friendship. I donāt want them to even have the slightest idea that Iām actually kind of enjoying this. But maybe I can have a little fun on my own, by purposely showing a little more skin and enjoying the stares.
One thing I want to clarify: my friends taking ācreepshotsā - I called them creepshots, but theyāre just normal photos of me from behind. Itās not up my skirt, the angle is just a normal picture from behind. Iām not encouraging any men to do this. You guys are right, itās not okay to take ānon-consensualā pics, but I feel like the lack of context of our friendship, and the way I worded it, made things seem way out of hand. Theyāve had so many āopportunitiesā to be an actual creep, and take advantage of me, but they have all been very respectful and protective of me for 10 years. I still think it was somewhat wrong of them to share pics in their groupchat, but Iām saying that Iām okay with it, as long as they dont act on it, and its just among themselves.
I've had sexual fantasies with my female friends all the time
I appreciate your perspective, and I want to clarify that my intention is not to dictate what anyone should find acceptable. OP's feelings and comfort are paramount in this situation, and I respect their autonomy to make decisions that align with their values.
The concern I raised is rooted in the broader principles of privacy and respect. Regardless of the relationship with these individuals, the act of taking and sharing non-consensual photos is generally considered a violation of privacy and can be emotionally distressing. It's not about imposing a specific viewpoint but rather highlighting the importance of personal boundaries and acknowledging the potential impact on their well-being.
While their trust in these men is understandable, it's important to differentiate between protecting someone and engaging in actions that may cause distress. Each person's comfort level varies, and my intent is to encourage a thoughtful consideration of their own feelings in this situation.
Ultimately, the decision rests with them.
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Taking non-consensual photos, even if it seems somewhat familiar because you know these guys, is a clear violation of your privacy. It goes beyond just a breach of trust; it's a form of objectification and harassment. Everyone deserves the right to control their own images and decide how and when they're shared.
Moreover, the fact that these men have protected you from other creeps at parties doesn't excuse their inappropriate behavior. It's important to differentiate between protecting someone from harm and engaging in actions that cause distress. Respectful behavior should be the baseline in any relationship, and violating someone's privacy is a serious breach of that.
I understand that you may feel conflicted about this situation, but I believe it's important to stand up for yourself and make it clear that such actions are unacceptable.
What would you tell a friend in your situation? Would you tell her that its ok because they're apparently only sharing these photos amongst themselves? Or would you be concerned for her well-being