Was taking with my boyfriend and found out he has a Fetlife from before we met. He was curious about the bdsm lifestyle. He never actually met up with anyone. He was looking for a mentor and had been texting older women, looking for someone to take control of him and “use him for their pleasure.”

I know this because he gave me access and we made the account joint. I trust him, and I saw the messages. Honestly made me feel really insecure at first. He never really expressed these desires to me. He casually mentioned once that he doesn’t mind a woman taking control sometimes, but even when I do push him down he always ends up taking over and finishing as the dom. We have experimented doing light bdsm stuff (belt lashing, ropes, hair pulling, typical rough stuff). Since day one he has been rough and in control in the bedroom, it just seemed to be his natural go to. So I was surprised that he had these desires that he never discussed. I want to be able to fulfill all his fantasies and I can’t help but feeling like I’m not. We are both high libido and adventurous. How can I be better in bed?