TL;DR: I had sex with my best friend. I told my husband. We are both processing and I feel a bit lost with no one to talk to.

I need to talk about this and get it figured out in my head and there's no one in my life that I can talk to about it currently.

I went for drinks at her place, we had a enough to make us both very drunk. We had a normal evening and discussed sex in a way that we have before but maybe more detail.

When we got into bed, started kissing and it escalated. We were intimate for hours and only went to sleep around 6am.

In the morning things were pretty chill but her son was there so it's not like we could talk properly. I stayed for a few hours while then went home. She's gone away for a few days with her son now so I can't talk to her (I have messaged but she's not replied - this isn't unusual behaviour for her, her communication has been spotty throughout our whole friendship and it's not an issue).

I came home and thought it through and decided to tell my husband. I guess at first he was kinda excited imagining us together and it definitely turned him on. During the previous night he text jokingly saying "I don't care if you guys get up to anything, just film it for me.". That didn't happen because, well, it wasn't a performance.

I'm feeling such a mixture of emotions, it's the first time I've ever been intimate to that level with another woman although I've always considered myself bisexual.

I enjoyed it a LOT at the time but now I just can't figure out what happens from here. I don't know if my husband has really processed it, he says he feels left out/disrespected and I feel like I completely disrespected him by doing this too.

I feel awful in terms of my own marriage and confused in terms of my friendship. This is someone I've slept in the same bed with drunk and sober countless times and this has never happened.

Every time I forget about it my body reminds me (my tongue feels strained and the top of my legs feels achy) and I just keep thinking who can I talk to about this?! And I'm just drawing a blank.

Can anyone help me figure this out?!