2 year partnership, healthy relationship & sex life - but my partner (who is the female) prefers being in control… AKA her being on top, her vocalizing what tempo she wants, non hard pounding.

99% of the time, I’m totally fine with it - I love her riding me and I can just relax while she does the work. But sometimes, I want to be the one in control - however, that means her losing enjoyment.

It’s also a bit confusing because while she wants to be in control, she also does like being choked, some spitting in mouth, other signs of being dominated - interesting juxtaposition, eh?

I’m all for fairness (ofc), and I LOVE getting her off (which 99.9% of the time is via her riding) - I’d love to hear some opinions on why it is that this “control” exists, and if that’s “normal” ?