I’m 28 years old. For most of my life, I have valued myself based on what others thought I was worth to them, and it had killed all of the self confidence and self love that I have ever built up in my life.

The tipping point was recently, a woman that I fell in love with broke things off with me because she wasn’t ready to date anyone yet. I took it very personally despite their reassurance that it wasn’t anything I had done, and I couldn’t let them go. It especially hurt because for the first time in my life I felt like I was 100% authentically me and didn’t try to be something I wasn’t. We continued to talk to each other but any deep conversation would just end in pain for me, opening up the wound. I still want this person in my life because they are an amazing person and yes, I do maybe want to see how things may go in the future with them, but I have decided to go no contact with them in the meantime while I build myself up. I have to learn to love myself before I can really love anyone else and also be in a place where I can watch her be with someone else if it doesn’t work between us.

I don’t really know where to start, or how to do any of this. I’ve been thru therapy before and I have started going back but it hasn’t really been helping. I guess I really just don’t know what I want to do or how to find myself and learn to love me for me. So here I am….

I guess I should ask…. How does it start?