Hello! I (f27) am kind of having an identity crisis but I don’t know if it’s really a crisis & I almost don’t trust myself with what I’m thinking or how I feel about things.

So, I’ve always been ‘out there’ and really it never was a problem till I moved states and changed schools and had to meet new people. The kids I used to know just knew it was me you know? And accepted me.

I’ve never really been able to find people that could ‘accept’ me. I’m regularly described as: full on, out there, crazy. I’m harmless but I have a lot of energy and I would say I’m not as... socially refined/conditioned as others.

I see other people own it and I love and admire that about them but I can’t seem to own it in myself or I’m terrified to now because I just think of all the people who were scared of my intensity.

I became pretty depressed about it and felt like there was something wrong with me. Like I’m very much into personal development, I’m not the smartest but I always love to learn. Now after reading a lot about psychology I can’t tell if this is just something I should learn to love and embrace or if I have very little emotional regulation but like it’s happiness? And excitement and passion! Sure it’s intense but like...? I definitely get happy highs.

I don’t even know where I’d find people that would accept and love me. That’s my main 2 points. If I have little self control I’m not sure I want to put a lid on my happiness, if I am so intensely happy why would I want to squash that because other people can’t deal with it? And two, where do I find other people like me? PS in Australia. I feel like I’ve had to become a chameleon to make friends but, as much as I love them, I don’t feel fulfilled because I can only show certain sides of me. What’s the fun in that?

Some people have actually thought I was on drugs or mentally disabled, which is fine. Just gives you an idea. I guess my parents accepted me and never tried to squash that part of me. How would I integrate this part of myself and what are your thoughts? I want to own it. You know how some people can be weird and it comes off as so simply because they don’t own or accept it while other are weird it’s cool because they own it and accept themselves. Well I’m the former.

Jeez, I’m also starting a business and I’m finding it harder and harder not to just be this excitable, energy, passionate person. It’s not that I can’t be mature and behave when I need to but Iyam what iyam (Popeye) Or is it?