I don’t even know how to put this into words, but i’ll try. I made some life choices some good, some bad, whatever and they led me to move to another country. Been here for five years now. And honestly? It’s a great place. Good people, good opportunities. But from the moment i got here, i’ve been drowning in this weird, extreme negativity that just won’t go away. No matter what I do, i feel stuck. The thing is, I didn’t move here because i wanted to. I moved because i failed in my home country. No jobs, no future. And even though i’ve had some really good chances here, i also hit one of the deepest depressions of my life. And somehow, that feeling just... stayed. Like it’s part of me now. Today, the most important person in my life (who, thankfully, is here with me) told me something that really messed with my head: that my negativity is draining them. That even when we do fun things, they can see i’m not really happy. And they’re right. I feel it too. It’s like I’m addicted to feeling bad. If i have a good day, i feel this weird urge to bring myself back down. Like i need my “dose” of sadness. And the longer this goes on, the worse it gets. It’s a cycle, and i have no idea how to break it. I don’t wanna live like this anymore. But i don’t even know where to start. Has anyone else been through this? How the hell do you get out of this mindset?