I'm curious if anyone else ever felt this way because I'm currently struggling mentally about this right now? For almost 2 years I've been hitting the gym and I've recently lost 20 pounds which I'm very proud about. However, I've been reading up on male grooming with hairstyles, waredrobes, facial care and I've been doing this for the past 2 months and also working on my confidence in social settings and getting out more.

But since the past 2 months I've been feeling really down about myself. I always worry if I don't fit in with society with the way I am/look. And I've tried to find out why I felt this way and I'm feeling there is a lack of external validation and I think I need it to feel reassured that I'm doing something right in my life. I think it's because I wasn't treated very well by some people in school at a young age as people were very ruthless toward me about my appearance so I guess I got a ton of trauma from that.

It just sucks because at least when I let myself go I didn't give a fuck but that's because I wasn't very social throughout my 20s. But now I'm getting myself out there and fixing myself, I found so many flaws about myself that I'm not truly happy about. I sometimes get these thoughts that I'm just better off living in some cabin in the middle of nowhere away from anyone so I have some peace.