I recently had came to realize that I’ve gotten better since I told myself “I dont care about her anymore”. I’ve been on a healing journey this pass 4months after my breakup with my ex. I really wanted it to make it work, but it was obvious that she was never over her ex. And the crazy part after the breakup she wanted to work on her issues but ended up going back to the ex. After finding this out it made me realize what she thought about me. Just there to fill a avoid until she missed the ex. I stayed in contact with her sister because I got close to her and really looked at her as a little sister I never had. But I had to let her know to not mention my ex to me because Ive been doing better without knowing and or hearing from her, I get she wants to vent about the crap she’s doing but what am I supposed to do? She chose to be with her toxic ex and chose to quit her healing journey. It’s not my problem! Why am I speaking about this? Honestly I’ve became aware of mental health issues being serious. I’ve been in therapy since the breakup and getting healthy with my workouts. I had 3 path that I could’ve taken but I chose one that was to better myself. Its crazy, but no one warnings you how the healing process is so much in the beginning of it. You have to sit with yourself and really open up everything chapter of your life that has effected you. The people, the events, just everything in life you have to go back and look at it. It gets lonely too but it’s progress tho, you’re supposed to be comfortable with yourself and trust yourself to be independent. I want to do better and I am but I never thought healing would be so hard but it progress. It’s funny i really wish I could make a podcast just to speak out about mental health and how healing is amazing but scary at the same time. My advice to anyone planning to get on a healing journey, forgive the past and let go from it. You’re supposed to live in the moment by breaking the cycle so you can become the better version of yourself and become who you should be. Yes the first months won’t be perfect, you will have moments that will become test but it’s for you to be aware of it so you can ask yourself “will this make me feel better?”. Old coping skills will be tested, for an example I before I’ve been on a healing journey I would do hooks up just to feel validated by someone else, I recently felt lonely and ended meeting up with someone. During it happening, i dont know what voice reached out to me and asked me “what are you doing? This is going help you get over the feelings the thoughts you have?”. I woke up during it and I started crying once they stopped and realized I was in to it. At that moment I came to my senses and didn’t want this. My mind opened up and I hated my coping skills being this. I never want to to seek validation from someone mostly from a stranger, it has to come to myself. Who reading this I’m sorry it doesn’t make sense.but I’m sorry if you’re going through so much you deserve happiness. You got this.