It’s surprising to me how many people have an extremely negative outlook on life, and then have no idea why life isn’t very nice to them in return. This is very much the same with people. Whether that's making friends, looking for a partner or just getting on with your colleagues.

If you think all women are gold diggers, that’s what you’ll get. I see a tonne of comments from guys complaining, “Women only want your money.” If that’s your outlook, you’re going to confirmation bias and only look for women who confirm your negative outlook, whilst ignoring all the exceptions who don’t want your money. You’ll literally only see gold diggers everywhere you look.

Women do this too. We’ve all met a woman who says, “All men are assholes!” or _“Men only want one thing!_” Again, confirmation bias means she’s going to filter out all the dudes who want a relationship/something ongoing, leaving her with only the guys who just want sex.

She’s creating her own reality.

If you believe people are fundamentally good, and being alive is a wonderful gift – you’ll project that into the world. People who have the same positive life philosophy will naturally be attracted to you and want to hang around you, which will make you even happier, which will attract even more happy people to you. It’s a self-reinforcing cycle. I talk more here on surrounding yourself with positive people.

If you believe people are likeable and decent and will generally bring fun, happy energy into your life, then that’s what you’ll end up with – decent people around you who bring joy into your life. You won’t accept anything less; you’ll quickly get rid of any sub-par people, leaving only the ones that line up with what you want.

The mind is a very powerful filtering tool.