Hi. Ive just come from my fourth psychotic breakdown. I'm coming to terms with all the trauma I've experienced, since I was born really, but worsened by the divorce in my family. I realize my mum made me feel I was just a bad person. She shouted at me like an army general for school, I actually hear voices now sometimes of that.

Anyways. I started self harming at 13, well 12 but closer to 13 than 12. I used to slice my face with a knife.. but then thought.. hey! I don't need this!! However the story doesn't end there unfortunately. I used to burn my hands to get them clean enough, my mother was a bit of a neat frick maybe that's the wrong word I have anger issues I can't help them sometimes. But I used to also pinch my eyelid around this time. Like, press my nail against my eyelid skin/underneath the eyes on my face. I just did that today and honestly I wish I could cry about it. I don't want to go back to this, I'm healing now, I have tons more support than ever before.. I'm still lonely, please don't think I'm luring people in btw mods. I'm not interested in relationships I'm interested in friendships not my d pics and that's not me luring in I just have to give context.. r/cptsd banned me for "luring people in" sick fucks I was just making a post about a girl who I thought loved me, who I then became obssessed with. It wasn't luring people in.

Does anyone have any storys of self harm recovery I can read?.. I'm still self sabotaging myself now. I just want to hear someone who relates to me, and if you want to be friends more the merrier 💕🙏♥️