I'm in the best relationship I've ever been in more or less, I'm a piece of shit and I deserve to die. I'm in a tough spot here, I can't kill myself because I'll destroy my partners life and they'll follow me in death so can't do that they've already lost someone to suicide I'm not going to add to that list no matter how much I despise myself. I wasn't able to get drunk to avoid cutting and now I want to cause they aren't talking to me. We made a little contract promising that neither of us cut ourselves and I was such a self-centered scumfuck that I couldn't even do that. I hate having to tell them, that I cut myself. But not telling them makes things worse. and ik fucking if i just didnt i wouldnt have to worry about either but i fucking deserve it. Like idk what to do.