Throughout my life I've taught myself to hold in emotion. At a very young age, I began to stop letting any negative emotions out, hoping it would disappear. They've done the opposite. They've stayed there and built up. There's just too many emotions and because I have suppressed them, I don't know how to get rid of them. I can't rant because there's too much to know where to start. Crying doesn't help, it's like a blockage. Nothing I do makes me happy. They've driven me to almost harming myself before, and they're doing it again. The past nights have been spent with a blade sitting atop my finger tips. Blood and pain are the only things that seem to help. I try to get blood and pain, but I manage to stop myself. I know I shouldnt start, but i feel like its my last resort. My partner is the only thing that can help aside from self harm, but I'm worried about being too clingy.