For so many years I've beat myself up mentally and physically for the smallest things, though I never really considered it self-harm because I had a skewed perception of what sh really was (assuming it was just c*tting.) Now that I have, unfortunately, fallen much deeper into this pit, I realize that I was abusing myself in a few ways to enact a form of “punishment” upon myself.

I've had pretty severe social anxiety for as long as I can remember and whenever I got frustrated I would (and still do) dig my nails into my skin often to the point of the skin breaking and even drawing blood on a handful of occasions. A more recent (but it's been going on for several years) form of so-called “punishment” that I've inflicted upon myself is hitting my head on something or with something.

The former of the two is certainly more common but I never really understood that these behaviors were, in a way, self-harm.