I have a lot of stressors in my life, and one of my releases is gaming - namely, multiplayer games. I just don't get the same kind of release from single player games.

But this in itself is proving a problem. I play when I'm upset/stressed/angry at other things in my life, so then when I start losing... I flip out. At first I would just lightly slap at my stomach. Then that wasn't enough and I'd start punching my head and stomach while telling myself over and over that I'm useless. Once I become aware that I'm losing more games than I'm winning, I'll "punish" myself every time I lose.

This doesn't even have to be highly competitive games. Yeah it's happened a bunch in Fortnite and Overwatch, but it's also happened when playing Uno online. Yesterday I gave myself mild concussion from playing online pool (internet coins at stake, not real money) and losing constantly.

I just don't know what to do. Realistically I know it's just a game. The only person who knows how bad/well I'm playing is me, and in the grand scheme of things, getting a bunch of internet points? Really doesn't matter. But in that second before I can realise what I'm doing, I've already punched or kicked myself and it's too late.

I don't want to stop gaming, I do enjoy it, but I just can't take it when I lose.