Hi,
I've been having suicidal thoughts over the past few months, and a couple of nights ago I tried to experiment, via SH. I don't really know if this is the right way of saying it, but hopefully you get the idea.
So I went for a drive afterwards, rang the mental health unit after I calmed down. Convinced them/myself that I would be fine until morning, when I could go to my GP to discuss. Cops showed up because I was parked in a McDonalds car park at 1am, and I was honest with what I was doing/had done, and they freaked out. After a 20 minutes discussion on how they wanted to take me to the hospital, I convinced them I was fine and moved along.
The GP the next day, she rang the mental health unit and suggested I see them today. I said I would be fine and needed to go into work later that day. Not 5 minutes after leaving the GP, these guys rang me, highly suggesting I come in to "talk" to them. Spoke over the phone, and made an appointment for next week.
getting a bit long, so going to shorten the next bits
Work freaked out, everyone is telling me "call me anytime if you want to talk". If I wanted to talk, I would and not do the other stuff? Does anyone else get this? I appreciate all of their offers for help of course, just tired of hearing it. Am I wrong for thinking this?
As Iam new to SH, I found it to be awesomely relaxing at first, but horribly embaressing telling people afterwards. Oh goddam that wave of just calm that rolls over is, unbelievable.
I know now in the future I just won't be telling people, and say everything is fine.
Sorry for the rabble, just... fuck i dunno... venting?