It’s been eight years since I last cut. When I was getting over finding out my bf of one year had been married the whole time and our whole relationship was a lie.

I’ve been in love with my best friend for 5 years. He finally returned my love only to dump me 10 days later. Guess dating triggered some trauma and he’s been having panic attacks all this week. He had to take a step back.

I am broken. I’m wondering again what was real. Worried he’s going to not want to be my friend anymore and abandon me entirely. Wondering what I did to deserve this. I’m in so much pain and the urge to cut has been overwhelming.

Eight years. That’s a long time. A lot to throw away for something that won’t bring real relief. Cutting myself won’t save me. Nothing will.