Never posted here before - go easy if I'm doing this wrong

Mm well I'm done with college, sorta. I'm trying to go back for one last year to figure things out. I've been pretty lost the last couple years. Haven't had too many friends or connections, living in different places all the time. Financial aid ain't what I hoped it would be - so maybe I won't be doing this 5th year at all.

My minds been out of whack in the last few years, too. Been feeling empty, confused, and forgetful all the time. Just wanting to get back to clarity. Been unmotivated to do a whole lot except find more ways to distract myself from my own life - bad idea, I miss a lot of things I should be paying attention to.

Can't connect with my family right anymore. I don't know if I've just become too distant in the last few years or if we're actually different people now. But I'm not who I was to them back when things felt more normal.

Find a lot of things, people, to blame my mistakes on. Thinking maybe I'm the cause of most of my troubles. But I can't get around it. My head has straight up bricked. Trying to feel inspired again.

Feel lost. Need a hand to point me the right way but I don't got any. Besides mine, I mean. But they're not pointing anywhere, yknow? lol.

Yeah but seriously I'm probably depressed.