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This has been the worst month of my life
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In the past three weeks, my girlfriend left me (she "did not have feelings for me anymore"), I lost my job, I lost my apartment, have to move in with my parents at age 28, twisted my ankle moving things and can't move the rest of my stuff until my ankle heals, but will be forcibly kicked out at the end of the month. All of my friends are my girlfriend's friends and calling them to help me has been awkward and they're apparently busy until the weekend, which is my end date for living here. My parents are too enfeebled to help me really carry the heavy things. I drive forty miles each way to get to school where I am older than anyone else in my classes and most of them see me as an outsider. And I found out last night my ex-girlfriend really digs this mutual friend of ours and has indicated to other friends she's going to make a move soon.

I have mild OCD and I am consumed by the worst case scenarios every second of the day and can't get them out of my head.

I know that, intellectually, things will be alright. They have to be. I'm a smart guy with an education and some money saved up, but right now I am scared and hurt and want to curl up in to a ball and just need to know that someone cares, even a little.

Edit: Thanks for all the kind words, guys. It really, honestly means a lot, don't doubt that. I spent a lot of time today nervously near-crying today and drinking water, but reading all the comments that are more than just judging me for feeling sad and are actually encouraging have really been helping me. Thank you all.

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Posted
11 years ago