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Iâm part of a queer London group chat, and a conversation came up about age gaps in relationships. Some younger members (18/19 years old) said things like, âAge gaps donât matter as long as itâs consensual.â Though they are dating older adults (27/28)
A trans woman in her 30s agreed, saying, âEspecially for queers where physical age matters less than queer age.â
This rubbed me the wrong way, but I didnât feel like I could voice my discomfort. In the group chat, if you say anything against popular opinionsâespecially from members who are considered pillars of the communityâyou get ignored or ostracized.
I donât think Iâm wrong for feeling weird about large age gaps involving people so young, but now I feel stuck. Why does asking genuine questions or having a differing opinion mean youâre outcast? Isnât the point of queer spaces to foster open dialogue?
Nobody wants to say it but age gap is broadly speaking only considered problematic with straight non trans relationships where the girl is the younger one.
Other configurations are just kind of excluded. I know several trans women that dated teenaged to early 20„ boys while themselves in their late twenties to mid thirties.
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