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I feel ostracised for questioning age-gaps in queer relationships
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I’m part of a queer London group chat, and a conversation came up about age gaps in relationships. Some younger members (18/19 years old) said things like, “Age gaps don’t matter as long as it’s consensual.” Though they are dating older adults (27/28)

A trans woman in her 30s agreed, saying, “Especially for queers where physical age matters less than queer age.”

This rubbed me the wrong way, but I didn’t feel like I could voice my discomfort. In the group chat, if you say anything against popular opinions—especially from members who are considered pillars of the community—you get ignored or ostracized.

I don’t think I’m wrong for feeling weird about large age gaps involving people so young, but now I feel stuck. Why does asking genuine questions or having a differing opinion mean you’re outcast? Isn’t the point of queer spaces to foster open dialogue?

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Nobody wants to say it but age gap is broadly speaking only considered problematic with straight non trans relationships where the girl is the younger one.

Other configurations are just kind of excluded. I know several trans women that dated teenaged to early 20„ boys while themselves in their late twenties to mid thirties.

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4 weeks ago