No matter what I do, I can’t seem to find any sense of belonging. I’ve joined groups, clubs, communities and they’re all surface level. Despite me going out of my way and taking initiative, starting conversation, it’s like everyone already has their friend group, their people. Even in class, I make convo and it seems like my classmates and I get along well, but then nothing happens or they walk out when class is over and go their own way. Meanwhile, I see plenty of people in the school library hanging out, I assume they met each other in class, cus where else would you meet them. I’m described as outgoing, funny, chill to be around. I get I’m a little autistic and goofy sometimes, but I think and I’ve been told it adds to my charm. But still, I have no one. I feel like there’s something fundamentally wrong with me when I see people in groups, feeling seen and known, and here I am alone, with no one to talk to about my day or laugh at any of my jokes and vice versa. I just got out of a relationship and my ex was my only friend, but he was genuinely my friend. We got along so well (aside from one major issue which is what led to our breakup). I’m giving him space to work on himself, and am going no contact for 30 days. So idk what’ll happen then. Maybe we’ll work through it. Maybe not. But his absence, I think, is just amplifying this feeling of loneliness. It’s dreadful. I want to die, but I don’t. It just feels that way. I went to a meetup from this friend app recently and I had a great time. I genuinely thought maybe this could be it. Maybe these are my people, but no. Everyone kind of ghosted after the meetup, with the exception of a few people.. and whenever I comment on the group chat like only one person responds, and it’s kind of half-assed and one time it felt like I was ignored. I don’t know what to do with myself. I make my presence known and I engage with people, ask them questions about themselves, express interest in what they’re talking about and them as a person, and there’s really no reciprocation. I’m 26 and I feel like I’m destined to be friendless…