I (31M) need some advice on a difficult situation I'm facing with my girlfriend (24F). We've been together for 8 months and our relationship was amazing in the beginning. I truly feel like she's the love of my life. However, things have taken a turn for the worse over the past three months.

My girlfriend discovered she has HPV16, a high-risk strain of HPV, and she believes she got it from me. Here's some background: she has had three sexual partners in her life, including me. I also had three partners until last year when I ended a 4.5-year relationship. After that, with the previous relationship being very mentally consuming, I decided to live a bit more freely and ended up sleeping with two women, one that I met through mutual friends and the other from Bumble. I had protected sex with them but later learned that condoms don't fully prevent HPV transmission.

My girlfriend had tested negative for HPV last year and hasn't been with anyone else since then, so it seems likely she got it from me. I had STD tests during my previous relationship, but unfortunately for this specific virus you can't get tested as a man unless there are symptomps (lesions that you can take DNA from as my urologyst suggested) and assumed I was safe since I only had protected sex after that. I recently found out that you can get it even if you have protected sex, 'cause it's transmitted through skin to skin contact. Unfortunately, neither of us were vaccinated against HPV.

For context, HPV is very common, with around 80% of the sexually active population considered to have or have had it at some point in their life. The only real protections are abstinence or vaccination, but unfortunately, neither of us were vaccinated.

When my girlfriend found out she had HPV16, she was devastated and considered leaving me. I was equally destroyed by the news and have been deeply concerned about her health, especially since this strain has a high risk for cervical cancer. Despite the initial shock, she decided to stay with me, but she sometimes has bad thoughts about me knowing she got that virus from me and knowing about my two situations from last year.

However, another layer of complication arose: my girlfriend is highly dependent on her parents. She's still a student and financially supported by them, and she has a very close relationship with her mother. Her mom has never been particularly thrilled about our relationship due to our age difference, and the HPV situation made things worse. Her mom asked her to break up with me, and my girlfriend told her she did, even though we continued our relationship in secret.

Now, my girlfriend is struggling to find a solution that allows us to be together without worrying her mother or ruining her family dynamic. She cries a lot, has bouts of depression, and feels trapped. Two days ago, she told me she can't continue like this and thinks we should break up because the situation is affecting her mental health. Then she desperately asked me for a way out.

I'm at a loss. I suggested she tell her mom that we've started texting again and are not seeing each other in person, but she's worried her mom will think we're secretly having sex, which her gynecologist advised against until the HPV passes (which can take up to 2 years).

I love her with all my heart and don't want to lose her. I will happily go through the 2 years without sex if that means we'll stay together. Especially with it being my fault. I genuinely feel like she's the love of my life, and I don't say that lightly. Can anyone from the outside see a way out of this situation? Any advice would be greatly appreciated. We are both very lost.

TL;DR: My girlfriend (24F) has HPV16, likely contracted from me (31M). Her mom disapproves of our relationship due to age difference and the HPV situation. My girlfriend is dependent on her parents and is struggling to find a way for us to be together without causing family issues. She’s depressed and considering breaking up. Need advice on how to navigate this complex situation and stay together.