Coming soon - Get a detailed view of why an account is flagged as spam!
view details

This post has been de-listed

It is no longer included in search results and normal feeds (front page, hot posts, subreddit posts, etc). It remains visible only via the author's post history.

4
My past might have ruined the relationship with my girlfriend. How do I fix it?
Post Body

Hey everyone,
I’m reaching out here because I’m in a really tough spot and could use some outside perspective. About six months ago, I met an amazing girl (24F). We connected deeply, and things were going incredibly well until a recent turn of events.

A bit of context: Last year, I (30M) got out of a long-term relationship and had 2 hookups before meeting this incredible girl. I want to emphasize that I always practiced safe sex with those 2 hookups. In fact, I've only been intimate with a small number of women in my life, staying within single digits.
A month ago, my girlfriend decided to get the HPV shot and got tested beforehand. The results came back positive for HPV16, and I'm pretty sure I'm the one who transmitted it to her. She had tested negative months before she met me, so the timing seems to indicate it came from me.

Since then, our relationship has been on rocky ground. She feels devastated and stained by my past, and despite our deep love for each other, she doesn’t see a future for us because of this. It breaks my heart because I know we have something special, and we both feel it.
Despite her pain and feeling of being stained by my past, we're still in contact every day. We express our love for each other, we've met multiple times since the diagnosis, sharing intense emotional moments (tears involved from both parties), but she doesn’t believe our relationship can continue.
I feel an immense sense of guilt for what has happened. I never intended to hurt her, and now I’m desperate to make things right, salvage our relationship, and take care of her. But I’m at a loss for what to do next.

I've expressed my remorse and willingness to do whatever it takes to support her through this. I've offered to cover any medical expenses, although she's offended by the suggestion, as she doesn’t need financial support. We both have the virus, and we both need to deal with it, so we may be better off dealing with it together.
What's even more challenging is that she refuses to discuss the issue directly. She's overwhelmed with fear, thinking it's the end of the world and that she might develop cancer. I completely understand her perspective, but I also believe we need to face this head-on and figure out how to move forward together.

To make matters worse, she doesn’t realize that men aren’t routinely tested for HPV, so there was no way for me to know I had it before we had unprotected sex. It's a complex situation, but I believe communication is key to finding a solution.
I'm heartbroken over the possibility of losing her and the impact my past has had on our relationship. I am a bit of a private person, I don't discuss these personal things with friends and family and I'm feeling alone and lost in all of this situation, that's why I'm posting here. I’m desperately seeking advice on how to navigate this situation and salvage what we have.
Which steps do you think I need to take in order to salvage this relationship?

TL;DR: My girlfriend was diagnosed with HPV16, likely transmitted by me. Despite our deep love and efforts to salvage our relationship, she feels stained by my past sexual history. I'm devastated by the situation. Which steps do you think I need to take in order to salvage this relationship?

Comments

A month ago, my girlfriend decided to get the HPV shot and got tested beforehand. The results came back positive for HPV16, and I'm pretty sure I'm the one who transmitted it to her. She had tested negative months before she met me, so the timing seems to indicate it came from me.

Don't assume that. Get yourself tested. There's plenty of, uh. Slip-ups, shall we say.

Author
Account Strength
80%
Account Age
4 years
Verified Email
Yes
Verified Flair
No
Total Karma
368
Link Karma
89
Comment Karma
263
Profile updated: 1 day ago
Posts updated: 3 weeks ago

Subreddit

Post Details

We try to extract some basic information from the post title. This is not always successful or accurate, please use your best judgement and compare these values to the post title and body for confirmation.
Posted
6 months ago