So the above sums it up. I know this is not seduction per say, but here is my gist: i have worked my ass up to owning 2 houses and my realtor said with the income I am soon to get from rent on both I might be able to buy a third. She is a sales person so I will need to run the exact numbers but we shall see. So financially I sm doing good. I make about 64k with my job and 70k with ot. I am working on course work for cs to eventually get a double degree in economics and cs. I also want to work on some softwsre projects. I might get back into trading stocks and crypto (I really love it and do well at it). I have been going to therapy and going to the gym. I am also trying to cut myself some slack. Further I am passing out secession and jury nullification pamphlets for the heck of it.

I am also working on residency in Paraguay and want to eventuality buy some places overseas.

But despite rhis I have an existential gnawing at me. With how things have been with covid one of the things that fell by the wayside was expatriation. The countries I originally looked at (Colombia and Chile) both went left wing and so i worry about their futures (even as I will still want to visit them) and I am now nervous about my other option. As this was my primary goal for making money and fell I slipped back into an attitude of working on this for women. I know this is toxic but it seems as time goes on my goals are revealed as corrupt (what is the point of being an investment banker if they push BS products?), get boring, or just don't intrest me. I am trying to find intrests that will keep my attention but I worry they are not enough to be my mission if that makes sense? Stock trading normally would be but that is cynical. I noticed when i was young I would focus on something, burn out, then chase women. How do you keep this even keel especially with how bad dating is out there? I just don't want to be back to square one.