My biggest problem when having sex with new people is not knowing what they are really into. Are they submissive? Are they dominant? Are they expecting me to take initiative or vice versa? Let's just say I go on the first date and things go well and we go back to my place. How do I know if the girl is submissive or dominant? In other words, how should I calibrate my intensity in bed?

There has been numerous times where I was told that I'm not dominant enough and don't take good initiatives, which was pretty upsetting. I have also experienced times where I was told I was told I was too aggressive. Well, I'm super confused by this, because I'm a switch. I'm not always dominant and I'm not always submissive. Can someone explain how to address this?