Hello, so F20 here. Currently I’m a relationship where we are going on 3 years. Within the past year I’ve finally came out to my partner that I was sexually abused as a child. It took a lot of me to speak of it to them but truly I thought it was important for them to know. However, with the past year the trauma has been hitting me so much more. I’m breaking down slowly inside as I’m dealing with it. I don’t know how to talk about it with anyone. It took a lot out of me to confine in my partner because when I tried speaking about it to my mother at such a young age, she didn’t believe me. And there’s been many occasions where I flinch whenever my partner touches me. Even with kissing I react so negatively. A part of me hates being touched in general by anyone. But I feel so bad that I am putting my partner through this. I understand it is not his fault for my trauma. He means no harm to me. And I was fine for awhile. I just didn’t think about the situation for awhile. My mind kind of forgot it happened. But it came back to me and it’s hit me all at once. How can I help myself so I don’t damage the relationship I am in. I want this relationship so badly. Not only that but I want to help myself. I always feel so tense and always aware/cautious in my surroundings because I’m so paranoid all the time due to my trauma. I’m tired of being so sad because of this situation. I’m hurting from it.