I’ve been with my 38m partner for 3 years. I love him completely and I want a future with him. He has sexual trauma from a childhood experience. When I met him he was drinking regularly. He doesn’t drink now because he fucking cheated on me while drunk early on in the relationship. I told him I am willing to do anything for sexual intimacy even if it’s not traditional. He’s not interested in role playing, other partners, kinks, ect he only seems interested in abstinence and acceptance for where he’s at- sex every couple of months or so. The trend in our relationship is that he’s the passive one and I like to be more proactive about things. He will ignore, avoid, shut down, where I like to FACE it. And deal with it. I’m a 32 year old woman. I feel ready for a family and to conquer these issues like others we have conquered successfully in the past. I feel like there is only so much I can do on my end. I’m having a hard time with hopelessness and loneliness. I feel like I’m grieving the loss of my sexual self- a self I truly loved about myself and about life!