For me it’s this but with schedules.

I love schedules. I love routines. Up until I was 18 I was very upset if my schedule was disrupted. Then I had to go live on my own and make my own schedules. Turns out I’m terrible at it!

University as a whole doesn’t make it any better, how am I supposed to have a consistent schedule when one day I’m on campus from 12-7pm but another day I have to be on campus for 8:30 am and my next class isn’t till 4:30 pm? When my work load for homework is in constant flux and I can’t realistically plan for “today you’ll have nothing to do, next week you’ll work for 12 hours! (Because you’re shit at pacing schoolwork)”. Or try having a morning routine when you’re sharing a bathroom with 6 people who don’t give a flying fuck about how you need to shower before you brush your teeth.

So yeah, I have no schedules because ADHD without familial support makes it hard to make one or stick to it. I’m not in distress because I’ve had to get over it if I don’t want to drop out. But I really miss having a schedule and routine and know I’d be happier if I could have one. On the one hand, maybe the fact that I could get over it means it’s not an autistic trait. On the other hand, a lot of people will do what they have to to survive and being able to push through doesn’t always mean the absence of an illness.