so i'm a 35 year old guy who has been in and out of psych wards and rehabs for the past few years. i'm currently on abilify and depakote, and i haven't had a psychotic episode in a while. my paranoid is almost completely curbed, so that's good. but i have this chronic empty feeling, and it's terrible. i'm sure it partly has something to do with the fact that i do nothing but stay in bed and read or watch youtube videos all day and smoke cigarettes, but even when i'm hanging out with my few remaining friends, i just feel... not there.. unless i'm high or something. has anyone found the perfect combination of drugs? i wish i could just get a script of opiates, but alas...