I still don't have a job. When I do, I will be saving money to pay for my funeral. It would take a year or two. I don't care what job I get anymore. I went through 34 years of this bullshit, I can make it through another year or two to get everything in order. Don't know why I bother posting on here. It's the same thing, over & over again. God must know that I want to die & I will delete myself, because I haven't got a call from any job in over 6 months.

I know I'm in hell. They say it's all fire and brimstone. It's not. It's just the absence of God in your life. I hear voices telling me that I don't exist. Maybe that's why God doesn't talk to me. I'm not accounted for in his plan. Maybe there is no God & we are just nature's mistakes.

Who knows what will happen? Maybe this year might be the one that breaks me. Maybe things might go right. All I know is that if I want to end it, nobody can stop me from from doing it. It will end one way or another.