Its been 2 weeks since ive gotten out of the hospital, one month since i started my meds. Today is my second try at a first day back to work. The last 2 weeks have been hell in a way last week i talked to my doc and got a slightly higher dosage for my resperidone i felt great for the first few days but that slacked off around day 4 or 5. It was like that too for the week after i got out of the hospital. Had a bad episode saturday, i could feel cuts up and down my arms and legs and was having thoughts about how to get them there. Im not as stable as i want to believe. This is my promise to myself if today go well and i spiral I Will go back to the hospital to get treated and hopefully get more stable, rather than just sitting on my ass calling my psych and lying to him like i have the last few months. Its really hard not lie to his face like i have for years now to people about my mental health. Especalially since its telehealth. Sorry off track. This my promise to myself. Also adding i will ask someone else to help me into the hospital i will not repeat the act i used to get myself into the hospital before.

Update couldnt do it, going to the hospital

Update a week later: just got out, they changed my meds from resperdal to ceroquil, also doing partial hospitalization to smooth the transition between the hospital and being able to go back to work