(Another week, another discussion! Don’t feel shy to post a response in the comments, I am not penpal’ing. 🤗)

I’m seeing a trend across the City4City subs, SA included, as quiet as we are. People talk about flaking, sudden non-answers, etc etc regardless of their intent(s). Something casual, something serious, whatever. We’ve already seen enough articles about how “ghosting” is common for everyone, not heavily biased towards women, men, or what have you. I know I’ve been in that boat, and on both sides of the rope (“flaked on,” or “flaking”).

But... why are we doing it, it seems, WAY more often lately? And why do you do it? C’mon, you know you’re probably guilty of it, too. 😉 Most people report it’s because they get cold feet; found something better; avoids any conflict (“what do you mean ‘not interested!?’”); etc. But why the current increase? Is it because restrictions are adding more people to the online scene, so more people who are just testing the waters? Maybe The Situation gives us more of an “out”? (I know some people use La Rona to get out of work.... Maybe it works here, too.)

How far do you let it go, too? No one’s owed an explanation of course, especially if early discourse. I wouldn’t consider flake/ghost/drop if I never responded at all. But, do you do it after some in-depth stuff is shared? After you’ve planned something? (In my past life, when used apps, I had someone confirm but then unmatch 5 mins before the meeting lol.) Maybe you do meet, but vanish right after - assuming it wasn’t a strict ONS, catfish, or absolutely horrible - without telling the person why?

This is all sorta SeRiOuS, but sorta lighthearted! I just like to explore the minds of my fellow community members. ☺️ Don’t take any of it too personal.