The market is crowded and you are tired of reading posts. So am I. Today's your lucky day!

Rare on the market but finally here -- ME.  Don't miss this rare opportunity to snatch me up and catch this limited time offer! The search is long and tiring, and you may be weary just like me, so let's fix that.  

Am I and is this post right for you? Answer these rhetorical questions:

1. Do you desire chemistry, strong connection, laughs, flirts, excitement, and fascination leading to passionate love?   2. Do you need some not-so-serious, stress-relieving stimulation (with thought provoking conversations mixed in) that isn't serious, but still meaningful?   3. Do you want fun, flirty interactions that take your mind off the monotony and onto the mind-blowing?     4.  Are you looking to avoid another lame-o, dead-beat guy who flakes, bores you, ghosts, or is just like talking to a brick wall?    

If you answered “yes” to any of those, here are the traits that I think will help recreate the magic:      

About you:  

• Of sound mind with a well-working brain.  YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE!  Be mentally awake and entertaining.
• Engaging enough to build a connection
• Roughly 21-48, although age isn't as important as chemistry and brain-age
• Physically fit (I am healthy and healthy people are attractive to me, but you do NOT need a gym body. Mom's are fine, folks!)  
• Attractive (this can mean a lot of things!  Sometimes brains are the main feature of attraction, so don't be shy!)      

About Me (aka just what you want and need in a lover):  

• Of sound mind with a well-working brain; also entertaining   
• Successful in life, well-educated, well-traveled, and respected at and outside of work  
• Tall, dark, handsome (attractive but not a Ralph Lauren model)  
• Fit (I'm physically fit, but not gym rat style).
• Married
• Well-above average grammar skills. Sorry to disappoint-—no, you are not going to get me “sliding into your DMs” telling you how you “s0und hawt n im h0rny bby so hit me up  n s3nd nUdz cuz im tryna link uP bb dm me hit me up” with an attached dick pic in front of a dirty mirror.  

In my fantasy world, I have a lover who is an amazing friend, flirt, and fwb, and someone who I admire. Someone to bring that passionate love again.  You know, the kind when you're excited to check your messages every morning?  This is the real world though, so I'll settle for some laughs, flirts, and fooling around.

You may be thinking, "yeah surrrrre buddy, sounds too good to be true." What I'll tell you is that this is not my first rodeo, and if there was an anonymous Yelp for Lovers and Dating Encounters, I would get five star reviews with exciting success stories.  

Again--this is a limited time offer. ACT NOW and FAST, Reddit, before it's *TOO LATE!*  

Please prove me wrong, Reddit, and fast! Limited time offer!  Message me!