I just got back from a vacation in Indiana, my Kitty Thorin has been sick for a while it came outta nowhere and I couldn’t afford the surgery to save him. I tried getting him meds, and doing everything I could to make him more comfortable. I got back yesterday and was so excited to see him again. And then I saw how bad he got while I was away. I feel guilty, I’m so scared to lose him, I feel terrible in so many ways. He’s my baby boy, I don’t want to lose him, he’s my everything. I’ve had him for about 11 years, he’s been my little supportive friend since before I started high school, my parents never listened to me vent about how I felt, or how my mental health has been taking affect on me, Thorin is the best listener I’ve could’ve ever asked for, he knew my moods before I did, he took care of me, listened to me. Been everything to me for so long.

I really dread putting him to sleep, beyond words or comprehension. I feel a massive weight on my shoulders, I feel like if I do put him to sleep I take any chance of him coming back, but I don’t think there’s any chance. And it’s devastating, I feel terrible that I didn’t get to see him or console him when his eyesight went away, I’m feeling emotions that can’t even be put into words it hurts so much.

I could really use some advice on how to grieve, cope and handle this situation. I’m sorry for such a long paragraph. Thank you for reading, and thank you for caring.

Edit: He’s passed, I was gonna take him to the Vet and he passed in my arms on the way there. He was a stubborn fighter, but he fought a good fight and now he can rest. Long live King Thorin Oakenshield, I’ll be here when he awakes in the beautiful skies above.