Well idk where to start so fuck it , I was born in 99, and my parents were neglectful I remember having sht in my diapers and wanting to rip the baby gate off being stuck in the kitchen when my parents where in the living room , I’ll say this rn I’m fucked up on alcohol like I am every night , this is my first post and hopefully my last , I love reading shit on Reddit but I don’t list cuz fck it ,anyways after watching my family break down and getting constantly hit growing up finally made it too 12 when I moved back in to gpas where he started his drinking after a messy divorce , f*ckin Gma loved her like a mom till she and her son busted all my teeth out (4top 2 bottom ) anyways 3 years ago I fell in love (back in love with my high school sweetheart and I did everything I got one of the best jobs in town and did everything to secure my position, I worked hard every night and made sure I was everything I could be , but 6 months ago I got cheated on and didn’t know till I come home and he’s says get gone , now I’m on my 7 month binge and tonight I got my first dui and ticket lmao , I made a lot of good jokes tho got my balls played with , laughed about the shitty metal taxi seat , and got a .05 on the breath alizar , all I know anymore is idc. I met my father once at 7 and I don’t even know his voice , he died when I was 12 my mom did drugs and became a hooker , thank god she sober up when I was 17 but it hurts knowing how similar we are and I don’t even know my dad , my father figure gpa has cancer and Alzheimer’s and fuck , honestly Why am I trying I only worked my ass off the last 5 years to show him I’m a man too , but fuck it , honestly I wanna do some drugs and fall off to oblivion, I believe in god but I can’t accept the shot show I’ve been in , I’ve done OxyContin all of high school an every relationship or ever had been cheated on , I would love to write a book on my life from being groomed to sell drugs , all I know Is tonight I got a dui my first ticket with a breathalyzer at .05 and lost my job , it’s my own damn fault but fuck man , I’m so tired of everything I’m not gonna blow my brains out or anything but fuck I just wanna feel ok , drunk ramblings, but a dumbass, if moderators delete this good , I just want one person to read this , I just wanna cry , I want to beg to be held , why can’t I hear anyone say it’ll be ok, I hate myself for being 22and already ready give up. I miss the old me .