So I love but also hate hanging out with some of my friends. Sometimes I feel like they don't want me there or say things about me behind my back. Sometimes when we game they don't include me (I genuinely think it's cause they didn't know I was on or are already midgame which isn't a big deal) and I cannot shake these thoughts "they don't wanna play with me" "why would they I suck anyway" "they don't enjoy playing with me I guess." And it really hurts, I spent the day with them today and I couldn't shake this thoughts and honestly ruined my day. Now I'm in bed and kind of wanna cry because I feel like trash and that none of them actually care. Idk how to deal with this it's really stressful cause I've never (EVER) been good with opening up to people so I always keep this stuff to myself but I don't wanna be like that anymore but I'm also am afraid nobody cares to listen. Whoevers still reading I appreciate you listening to my whining. Just had to put it somewhere I guess.