Probably just definitely bi. I have been in heterosexual relationships for the majority of my life, I’m 26. Many girlfriends, even more female sex partners, and I think I’ve just been really wrong about my sexuality this whole time.

I broke up with my last girlfriend really recently, and immediately on a whim downloaded Grindr. I’ve watched gay or 🚂 porn a lot, unironically more than I’ve ever watched straight porn. Within a few hours of my break up I was able to meet up with some skinny guy who crossdresses and got him to blow me.

Blowing me escalated to me full on penetrating, and afterward I came more than I have ever in my life. He didn’t really pass as a girl, the whole time I was aware that I was just having sex with a really feminine guy and I never had a single issue maintaining my erection. Maintaining an erection/fear of erectile disfunction has been something that has haunted me for a long, long time. No issue this time around, we had a very short round of sex and I came so aggressively it was like I had never had sex before.

The issue is I have no interest in ever dating gay men. This guy, while I enjoyed fuckingnhim, was so unpleasant to be around and entertain that I could not imagine taking him out on a date. Also, I am not at all attracted to masculine men or just how men look in general. If this guy wasn’t behaving effeminately or presenting himself in an effeminate way, I don’t think I could have even managed to muster up an erection. It’s been a few days since and I’ve hit him up for more, and a few other men have blown me since, but it is a completely transactional thing. We have sex and then I’m immediately repulsed by them, I want nothing to do with them outside of sex.

I want to continue dating women, and having unfulfilling sex, so that I can at least marry someone who doesn’t embarrass me have kids eventually. Am I doomed to ruin someone else’s life?