*this is NOT me trying to start a gender war it's a genuine question & i'm not putting either gender against each other.

this isn't a "they're lying to you" issue, because i literally have been stopped in public by girls telling me how pretty i am, even children, and we know how brutally honest children are. when i post, literally every single girl in the comments agrees that im cute, and i have had no issue in the past finding a girlfriend, even out of my league. i am not conventionally attractive but im not horrifically ugly either. i can recall three guys flirting with me through the last three years of highschool total, and this includes online.

despite this, men are completely uninterested in me (besides older). as in like, i have never been flirted with by a male in my entire life. in fact it's really the opposite. i left high school because i was bullied so much by the boys around me just because they thought i was ugly. the rudest, most nasty comments and messages i get are always from men. i posted asking this question once, and every girl said i was attractive but every man said i wasn't. i have never even been catcalled (and they catcall ANYONE). this all got significantly worse after i gained weight, but even when i was skinny, it was radio silence outside of a few guys.

and you'd think if i was that ugly, i'd at least get hate from women too, but i never do? not even like pity compliments. this phenomenon bewilders me. anyway i have a few theories:

– 1. women find unconventional features more attractive/see the beauty in everyone

–2. less men are attracted to black women (i find every hate comment i get is from men of my race openly obsessed with snowbunnies/lightskins/asians/etc)

–3. im offputting, unsettling, or otherwise evoke red flags for men– this once confuses me though because pretty alternative girls have no issue getting freaky comments. maybe it's just too much for them? can they sense my mental illness??

does anyone else have this problem?