Due to a lot of personal issues (trauma) over the course of my life, I tend to need the things I do with my character to be actively accepted / expected as part of the group, or I drift into a loaner / janitorial role cleaning up after the rest of the group because it's safer.

The way this most often plays out is that the stronger players in the group will expect that everybody is just going to do what sounds good to them, regardless of whether it's good for the party, with players who either have to be unilaterally in charge, or create such personal destruction that the party deforms around them.

The expectation appears to be that I will also behave as my own narrative gravity well, attempting to deform plot around me, just as everybody else does, and let the dice and chaos fall where they may, but that's both deeply unsafe, and not very fun.

There doesn't seem to be a way to communicate that this is a playstyle choice, because it works for the people who play this way, and they enjoy it.