To set up the scene, this is what I'm dealing with: I have been fighting for disability since 2008. I have multiple complicated health issues including EDS, PID, gastroparesis, brain fog, possible POTS and Cushing's, and confirmed depression, anxiety, BDD and PTSD. in the mean time, I have no health insurance and no income. So yes, I am living here rent-free and pretty much always have. I fully, wholly, completely get what a huge ask this is, and i don't want or need "tough love" or a "harsh dose of reality." I already get it. I have done and continued to do everything humanly possible to make my situation better and to increase my chances of winning my disability case and stabilizing my life. My roommates are aware of this and have always been aware of this. They see the social media posts, the GoFundMe updates, the mail from the SSA and my lawyer coming to the house, etc. They know I'm working on it.

What they ask of me is twofold:
1) Basically relinquish control of my food stamps card and let the homeowner spend it all on food for the household. She cooks a dinner for everyone most days, and that's as far as the money goes. I get nothing until dinner time, but that's a sacrifice I'm willing to make.

2) Clean up the kitchen. This means loading, running, and unloading the dishwasher, hand-washing multiple items, wiping down the stove and counters, and sometimes sweeping the floor. It's a struggle, and while I do the best I can, I'm disabled. Because of the brain fog and fatigue, sometimes I forget to run the dishwasher, or accidentally leave food on one of the dishes.

I have also managed to get them pest control services, a new stove, new kitchen floors, a used car, a used transmission, extensive car repairs, and some other things.

But they're seeing that I'm making mistakes, and I'm guessing they're taking it as a personal attack, as if I do it on purpose. I don't know.

Today, I heard one of them screaming in the next room about how I left bits of cheese in the cheese grater, and she discovered it right as she wen to cook them breakfast. "If she doesn't get it together, she needs to find somewhere else to live!" she screamed. This is at least the second time this has happened that I know of.

What I REALLY think this is about is their burnout from my situation. They're sick of me not being able to help out financially, and that's understandable. I'm just guessing though. I'm so stressed out that I'm literally shaking. I've tried to talk to them calmly about it, and all they do is get more defensive.

If I do manage to find somewhere else to live, I will lose a lot: a 4-year relationship, my case worker from the local indigent mental health clinic, and my doctor. I wouldn't do anything intentional to jeopardize what I have, but my roommates won't see that.

I don't know what to do, and I'm scared. I'm doing the best I can, and it's not enough. Someone please help me.

If this gets too much attention, I'll have to delete it, as one of my roommates is also a Redditor. While I don't think I've said anything horrible, I just don't want to complicate things.

Thanks.