I moved in with my best friend almost a decade. We’ve known each other since middle school. I am now 21 years old and she is 23. She’s always had a good work ethic up until this last year which I understand. Somehow I feel like everyone has had a rough past 7 months. I myself went through a really bad patch of depression/burnout where seeing her even if she was being distant was the light of my life. I had just gotten out of a bad situationship where I was putting him before her which made her mad. I get that, I know now it was wrong of me. We’ve touched on it but it’s hard to talk to her about that stuff with out her immediately getting defensive and storming off. Anyway she stopped working a few months ago, she’s a stripper, and getting her to go back to work has been hard. She started dating the very wealthy older man that has sent me money to cover for her but It’s like pulling teeth asking him to do so. He just does this randomly and gets mad when I ask him to do it. She has told me to just make her go but I hate making people do this unless it’s something that gets in my way like “hey your dishes are still in the sink from last night and I need to make myself breakfast, please wash them”. She also make an excuse when I ask her t get up for work like “I don’t have razors” or “it’s good weather outside so no one will be at the club” (apparently people don’t go to the strip club when it’s sunny outside?). She still hasn’t paid for a large portion of her half of the expenses. I know people tell you not to move in with your friends because money can kill relationships but we’ve always been close. We’ve always gotten along really well for long periods of time even in small spaces like the other ones room when we were growing up. Also she used to put in 80 hour weeks at her job so I thought that it wouldn’t be a problem living with her. She’s costing me and getting in the way more than expected. I needed her to get on the lease because looking good on paper matters with that sort of thing. I don’t need her to pay for anything, let me clarify that. I can afford to live by myself. It’s that she hasn’t paid for much and leaves things dirty. There is food left out, water bottles that goes unwashed for weeks collecting mold, and the stove always is slathered in some sort of oil or cooking fat. I have bipolar 2 disorder, ASD, and OSD. I know I’m hard to live with and I usually give people more room knowing that it’s just me being frazzled because my brain is spicy. She also knows this about me and has witnessed it for years. She knows to use a coaster around me. How do I tell her that I need her to pay for her half, clean up after herself, and just grow up? Maybe not so snippy but you get what I mean.

TLTR my best friend of almost a decade won’t pay for her half the rent or clean up after herself and this is never been a problem before. How do I get her to start, or talk to her about it?